Last week, I broke my life down into chapters and decided I was in chapter 9. Today brought about what might be the foundation for chapter 10. Nine days ago, I listed my house for sale, and I will know tomorrow if it sold it or not. I was “wheeling and dealing” throughout the day, and we are in the midst of working out the last of the details. I am counting on a “sunk cost fallacy”—not that it no longer makes sense for the buyer to pursue the sale, but people do tend to invest in something—whether it’s time, money, or effort—simply because they have already invested in it. I think that’s what I did last year when I had a crush…haha. Should have gotten out sooner!
The closing date for the sale of the house would be May 1, which is earlier than I expected. My birthday is the first week of May, and I had hoped to be around for that, but no big deal; I can adapt. I’ve moved dozens of times in my life, and for years, I would always hold onto my cardboard boxes because boxes are expensive and I knew I’d be moving again. But the past two times I moved, I threw them away because I actually thought I’d be staying. Unfortunately, I had to order boxes again today. Still expensive!
When I first moved back to the South, I said I should write a book called, “I Hope I Die in Mississippi,” but that feeling didn’t last; it never does. I’m not sure if it’s because I have ADHD, but I get bored after a while and want a change of pace. I’ve realized that when my life gets to a point where I can predict what’s going to happen from year to year, I don’t like that prospect and seek to make a change. I enjoy the mystery and want to keep it that way. I was deeply touched this week when an friend of mine said during a phone call, “I think that’s a wonderful way to live.” Sometimes in life you feel seen, and those moments are good for the soul.
Last month, I learned about the philosopher, David Hume, who apparently suggests that we move away from the idea of cause/effect and instead focus on patterns, which I found incredibly thought-provoking because, as a therapist, I spend a lot of time trying to understand the cause/effect of psychological problems—my patients’ and my own. That said, my ideas about why I move so much—e.g., ADHD, nomadic ancestors, flight response—may not be causes at all. They may simply be labels I’ve assigned to myself as I observe patterns. It’s not necessarily the truth.
As I was researching Hume online, Deepseek shared this helpful analogy:
Think of a sunrise:
You have seen the sun rise every morning of your life.
You expect it to rise tomorrow.
But you have never seen the "cause" of the sunrise. You have only seen the pattern.
Hume says your expectation is based entirely on that observed pattern—not on any logical proof that the sun must rise.
In a way, the last bullet point reminds me of something I often say to my patients—that therapy is just a bunch of guesses. We can’t really know the “causes” of why we ended up like we did. When we seek out the “why” behind our behavior and come up with answers, it’s just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks.